Saturday, 7 November 2009

Competing

Forgive me for I have sinned.  It has been 1 year and 1 month since I last dyed my hair.  But today, I had it all dyed evenly black.  Yes, I had dyed it black the last time (1 year and 1 month ago), but it has been fading ever since.  In fact, it had faded within a month - the blond streaks have been peeking through as brown slash red "highlights" to the faded black hair for over a year.  My natural hair colour is a cross between black and really dark brown, so the outgrowth with the fading black hair dye has looked natural.  And it's not that I disliked it that I dyed it.  It really, quite simply, was the unevenness of the colour.  As I mentioned in Neuroses, unevenness makes me crazy.  And even though I hate spending money and fear that an investment in my looks reflects insecurity, I knew that it would be really satisfying when I finally treated myself to making my hair colour uniform.  Oh, I was right.  It is substantially better than going on any of the vacations I've dreamt up but never got to take (partly for the evenness issue, but actually also because of the cost).

It is always difficult when you have a decision to make, and competing convictions apply.  Our action/inaction reflects our confusion.  (I waited 1 year and 1 month before making myself look neat.)  Hopefully, in the end, we will have represented ourselves and our confusion honestly.   That is all we can aim for.
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