In thinking more about people who disappear from our lives and leave us hanging, I recalled a conversation that I had had back in twelfth grade with an unpopular peer of mine. He was complaining about how others had left him hanging for what he deemed "no good reason". He hypothesized that it was because they preferred to "be cool", and went on to say that this was why they partook in substance abuse, or didn't do their homework. His conclusion was that he should feel vindicated in their lack of success due to substance abuse, but didn't because they discarded his friendship in favour of "being cool".
There were just too many things wrong with his reasoning, but I decided to stick with only one when I replied with "Is it just so inconceivable to you that perhaps they had other reasons, ones that you don't understand?" There are so just many roads to becoming an addict of the self-destructive sort. How dare he be so selfish as to think that he was one.
The truth is we can be so inclined sometimes to be selfish and think that we are the cause of someone's behaviour, neglecting the existence of the real possibility that often has a non-zero probability that it has nothing to do with us. We sometimes just don't know the whole story, and with our limited resources, we can make a selfish guess. The irony is that we demean ourselves when we do this. We have to remember: we are not at the centre of the universe.