I hate to admit it, but a lot of days, I look at my life and just don't want to continue on this path that I've laid out for myself. It feels impossible - as if there are too many potholes, bumps in the road, and unanticipated detours and pit stops that push the destinations indefinitely further from my reach. There is no end to the unexpected obstacles that I need to overcome to get to what I have envisioned to be a realistic endpoint.
At least there is a path. Five years ago, I didn't have one, and life felt meaningless and empty. Now I have direction and meaning, and it all feels impossible.
What I'm clinging desperately onto these days is my curiosity to know how the stories end. Do certain initiatives begin to pay off, or do they continue to suck me dry? Will I reach the next milestone? Or any of the ones after? Will this effort all have been for naught, or will I someday reap the rewards of the pain that I currently endure?
Only time will tell. I just wish I had a spoiler.