Okay, so a great many things went "wrong" in the last two years, and in an attempt to find meaning in the disarray, I abandoned all of my "best practices" and "goals" in hopes of finding new ones. I realize how erratic that game plan was. It was more like a misguided twist on Einstein's idea that "insanity" is "doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results".
I know I didn't have to throw it all away and start fresh. I know I didn't even need to throw pieces out. But the whole plan felt like a network of ideas strongly interwoven over time that when one (or two or three or whatever) didn't fit, I felt like I needed to just create a new quilt.
In any event, amidst the changes, I adopted the plan of saying "yes" to "everything". Well, I'm exhausted, and I think it's time that I take a break, and just start saying "no".
There are some things that just don't benefit me in any way. I know what I need to do. It's time to stop feeling like "it's now or never".