Saturday, 30 September 2000

A Peek Through Tinted Glasses

[Note:  I wrote this when I was a teenager.]

Did you know I died that day?
Held loosely onto life’s last breath
Decided I had nothing more to give,
I closed my eyes and embraced my death.
Didn’t I deserve more than this?
Because, I swear, I’ve done my best.
The blind faith wasn’t good enough
To have succeeded beyond this relentless test?
Because a heart can only take so much.
When broken, needs time to heal.
What then when it all comes down at once?
Mine surrendered its capacity to feel.
I thought experience was supposed to grant wisdom:
Break you down, then make you strong,
Open up your heart and mind
And teach you right from wrong.
Yet, still I see my world of darkness
Where no one saw my pain.
I see my restless, cloudy skies
And endless nights of rain.
I see myself, an empty shell
The remnants of a mind
The memory of who could have been
Had life, to me, had been more kind.
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