Sunday, 28 October 2012

Save The Date

Tuesday, 23 October 2012

What is it?

I don't want a "boyfriend".  I don't check-in with anyone before I do something.  I like this freedom.  I like the opportunity to say yes.  

I need trust, respect, loyalty and honesty.  I also know what I am incapable of: I can't rearrange my life for anyone.  I can't play housewife.  I can't be a man's date for every event he attends.  I do what I please.  But is it so unfair of me to ask of the rare man to submit to some form of "commitment" - in the vaguest sense of the term - to me, and vice versa, amidst the freedom that I want and would give?  Could we not share intellectual interests, but not participate in all of the rest of the garbage - the obligatory, unnecessary, meaningless actions that typically define a relationship - that I abhor?  Could that alone not make me a "girlfriend"?

I would like for it to be enough.  I really would like to be that kind of girlfriend.

Friday, 19 October 2012

Mashup 1.0

came up to meet you, to tell you I'm sorry. You don't know how lovely you are. I had to find you, tell you I need you. Tell you I set you apart.

Believe me - I'm sorry I told you lies. I should've shown you better nights, better times, better days.

We said things, did things that we didn't mean.

I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love and not feel your rain.

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears. When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears.

I cannot believe there's nothing left to save.

But these wounds won't seem to heal.  There's just too much that time cannot erase.

I found the remedy. I had to set you free ... to see ... the way that love could be when you are not with me. I had to leave. I have to live. I had to lead.

Nobody said it was easy, but no one ever said it would be this hard.

Time will bring the real end of our trial. One day there'll be no remnants, no trace, no residual feelings.

In another year, the pain will disappear, and I will look back on this life as if it were a scene.

One day you won't remember me.

I'm learning to live without you now, but I miss you sometimes. The more I know, the less I understand.

Wednesday, 10 October 2012

Imagery: a coin-sorter

I've always likened myself to a coin-sorter.  Coins of all sizes are indiscriminately dumped in.  The contraption need only be shaken lightly, and the coins fall into place.

Trouble arises when any reasonable combination of the following happens:

(1) too many coins are dumped in at once,
(2) the contraption is shaken too quickly as to slow down the sorting,
(3) we encounter coins of different currencies that are of varying value, but similarly sized,
(4) when foreign objects that are not currency are introduced into the system, and finally
(5) when no shaking occurs.

I am a simple contraption. All I want is to function optimally.
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